I hate the local news. KMSP thinks they've come across a Big Major Exclusive Story™. You see, there's these commercials that are in efforts to stop smoking. One of them has a woman, apparently on a home video to her son in the future, singing to her son. She has cancer from smoking, you see. At the end, it says she died, and tells people to stop smoking.

Along comes KMSP, and they find out that, lo and behold, she's an actress! Oh-ho! Oh dear! God forbid there's ever actresses in commercials! Jesus Christ, what is this country coming to?! When will the terrorists strike again!?

I knew someone who thought they stumbled upon something big when it was revealed that the Apple "Switch" commercials had actors and actresses. As if these "personal" commercials should be set on different guidelines as the others. Well, of course it's an actress, and if you're just figuring this out now, you're a bit slow. If you think this is a Big Major Exclusive Story™, maybe you should save your minute or two and give it to the police shooting that happened today.

Remember folks, you heard it at this Minneapolis blog FIRST!

Last night I had a dream that we got my math grades, and they were so phenominal, so through-the-roof that they suggested raising me to the highest math level. Clearly, writing is my forte long before math ever will be, so when I reminded myself of this dream this morning, I thought to myself, jokingly, "in your dreams."

Later on, my mom tells me to check my e-mail because she forwarded my latest math grades to me (snail mail ... what was I thinking?!). I look, and they're absolutly horrible.

In my dreams indeed.